Peninsula Daly News Column 6-28-12 "The good, bad and ugly of surviving"

            Last week I went on about how most of us just want to have a life we can live, so we want to live more of it, so we might want to pay a modicum of attention to exercise and diet and…Oh! By the way: Medicare covers obesity prevention work and it’s worth doing even if we won’t ever become that lithe, hard-body you always see sprinting across the supermarket parking lot, indiscernibly encumbered by 150 pounds of greens and yogurt and…

            Then I ran across a “New York Times” article about studies revealing that more and more of us in “later life,” or the “older generation,” are falling prey to eating disorders! Yes! Folks (well, women outnumber men on this one, 10:1) in their 50’s, 60’s and beyond going WAY beyond: restricted eating, excessive exercise, laxative abuse…Killing themselves.

            So I thought, “Oh, great! Last week you go on about losing weight so you have a life and don’t kill yourself and this week you can go on about not losing too much weight so you have a life and don’t kill yourself. Talk about a ‘mixed message’…!” And figured I’d back off of that bad idea.

Mixed message.  It is and it isn’t. It’s good and it’s bad. Some is good, too much is bad, unless it’s not enough…We think it’s good this week, but we might not think that next week, so stay tuned for the new study of the old studies that studied the studies previously done on folks who did too much of that…Or too little…

Enough! I’ll show you: I’m just going to do the best I can with my own common sense and to…HECK with all of your mixed messages!!!!!

Sound familiar? Me, too. And when you stop and think about it, that’s what we’ve been doing all of our lives: Trying to make our way through a morass of mixed messages and conflicting information and values and philosophies and recommendations and…All of our lives, even before we can remember, we were being told what to do and what not to do; true enough, in those very early years, most of what we don’t remember hearing was being said to us for one very good reason: Survival.

Survival IS a good reason: Do this so you don’t die, don’t do that so you don’t kill yourself, if you keep doing that it’ll get you someday and don’t ever do THAT, because it’ll be the beginning of the end! And, in some cases, they were right.

In some cases, they weren’t – We know, because we tried it.

But for almost all of us, there’s never been a shortage of people, institutions, agencies or philosophies who were more than willing to tell us how to live – To teach us how to live. To show us what is right-and-true, and valuable and important and insightful and accurate and wholesome and tidy and the “…way your mother would have wanted it.”

Or whomever.

 And do you know what almost all of us have done? Some of it. Some of this, some of that. Experimented. Learned the “hard way.” Made horrible mistakes that we dutifully teach those we love to never make, and succeeded where we were dutifully taught we could never succeed. Maybe we didn’t die, but we wish we hadn’t done it, or maybe we didn’t die and we wish we done a lot more of it a lot sooner!

And then there are the things that we don’t want to remember or admit, even to ourselves – Yup, they were right about those.

But sometimes we were “right:” We took the chance! We sucked-up the courage and did it, anyway, and soared into places that we could never have imagined! Places and people we could never have known! - If we’d listened, if we’d “learned,” if we’d obeyed.

Even the “good” among us have been “bad,” sometimes, and even the bad among us have been good, at times.

Mixed messages.

So we’ve made our ways the best we could: Trying to learn, trying to do better, trying not to make things worse or be part of the problem, trying to follow the rules – Mostly, depending, of course, upon which rules those might be…Or, whose rules.

We’ve made choices, up-and-down, good-and-bad, smart-and-SCARY stupid! We’ve made our ways the best we could, and the story of how we got to “here” from “there” rivals “Gone with the Wind!”

You know what? Maybe it does; so when I got an e-mail from a gentleman politely and graciously pointing out that, in my various “guides” of how to do or survive this-or-that, perhaps I’d neglected to mention the value of leaving your legacy, the story of your life - I had to let that sink-in.

I certainly experience my admittedly labyrinthine and…eventful life in epic panoramas, but who else would? It’d just be boring to anyone else…Wouldn’t it? And on what basis did I decide that? On behalf of the people who purport to love me? Because I know what’s “right?” True?

Because somebody told me so?

Oh, dear. So, if we’ve made our ways the best we could, then maybe we ought to leave the ways we came: Tell the stories, label the pictures, explain the mementoes…The way we came. So someone else could understand.

So someone else could learn.

So someone else could know when to go straight ahead on the path we left, or veer off into the unknown.

Or maybe just as a way of saying, “I was here, so you don’t have to be.”  

And if you’re a caregiver (you know, someone who’s taking care of someone who needs to be taken care of, whether they like it or not), could it be time that you “veered off into the unknown” to take a little care of you? Yeah? OK, try this:

If you’re an unpaid caregiver who happens to live on the West End (actually, you can live anywhere you want) you could get in on a new series of “Powerful Tools for Caregivers” classes, starting July 11. You’ve heard me talk these before – They change lives, literally.

Starting July 11, 1:00 to 3:30 pm at the Calvary Chapel, 451 5^th Avenue, in Forks, and going every Wednesday for six weeks. Worth learning more about? Call Susie at Family Caregiver Support, 374-9496.

And this is NOT a “mixed message.”

Peninsula Daily News Column 6-21-12 "Little to do to make long life doable"

            I talk to a lot of doctors, surgeons, nurses, ARNP’s, physician assistants, therapists, health care administrators, etc – Some of them even talk back!

            So, on the rare occasion that one of these interludes degenerates into an actual conversation, we often end up talking about…Right! Health care! How much it costs, why, where to get it, how to know if you’ve found it, why so many people need so much of it in the first place, how to avoid it – Yes, how to avoid it.

            Well, wouldn’t you rather avoid “needing health care” if you could? I mean, “needing health care” often means that something is, or certainly could be, wrong, and most of us would prefer to avoid having something be “wrong.”

            I would.

            I think a lot of us see health care as something that’s done TO us: Something is, or seems to be, wrong, so we have to go there to get that something fixed; well, OK, maybe it’s here AND there, then back to THERE three or four times, before we’re sent to hither, and soon to yon – And in all these places there are highly trained and (presumably) highly paid professionals who are doing things TO us. Oh, sure, as we’re being shuttled out of a door, someone might tell us to go home and do this-or-that, or stop doing this-or-that, or a little more of THIS and a LOT less of THAT, or whatever, but those bits of homework are afterthoughts – Little things that are thrown out to us after health care has been delivered TO us.

            Then, we go home.

            So, as I’m having these little highly condensed, conversational tidbits with Pro’s, in which I listen a lot, after a few years even I can’t help but notice that I’m hearing the same things over and over and over from them: I’m hearing the things we ought to do (and could do) to avoid needing health care, and it’s the same stuff, with diet and exercise topping the list.

            I know: Many of you just groaned – I get that. You’re thinking, “Oh, great! Here we go with this again. I’m heading for the crossword puzzle!”

            WAIT! I said, “I get that,” and I really do. Most of us are just trying to get from one day to the next, trying to wring some joy out of this 2012 life-thing, and we’ve done the best we could with what we have for a whole lot of years, now everybody wants to make us into…

            Uh-huh, everybody wants to make us into one of the pictures we see in our minds: Maybe it’s Jack LaLane, or somebody a lot like him. Or maybe it’s one of those pencil-thin women who only eat green stuff, drive Subaru’s and run 11 miles every morning before yoga. Or a weight-lifter or a food alien or…Those pictures aren’t usually pretty, and since most of us will never be I’m-so-skinny-that-I-don’t-even-have-a-shadow marathon runners, we just do nothing.

            And changing how we live is a lot of work! I have to go from being what I am (well, OK, who I am) to being something or somebody else! I have to change everything completely! I have to give up everything I love, start eating everything I hate and start doing things that hurt, and I hate, so I can live longer! – Who wants to live longer if it’s just full of eating things and doing things I hate???

            See? I told you I get it. Here’s my “thing,” that you’ve heard before: Most of us aren’t looking to live forever – We just want to live until it’s time to do something else. Live – As in, have a life, and it’s a lot harder to do that when a lot of your life is spent ricocheting from here to there, being on the receiving end of health care.

            Toward the end of last year, Medicare added coverage for preventive services to reduce obesity, which means no cost-sharing. I’m not going to get all into the insurance details of that coverage, because I think I’ve got you sideways enough for one day, but the bottom-line is that you can talk to your Doc (or whomever you see) about getting some help with the “weight thing,” and she or he and provide some counseling and some recommendations and some referrals and some encouragement AND actually get paid for doing it.

            This is doable.

            And here’s something else you’ll discover: Most health care professionals aren’t wild-eyed fanatics who are going to try to turn you into somebody you’re not – Most of them are pretty realistic and pretty down-to-Earth, because that’s where they live, too.

            So, forget about diet, forget about exercise and forget about those pictures you see in your head when somebody talks about this stuff, and just think about your life. Would you like to have more of it?

            You’d be surprised how little you have to do to do that, and this is doable.

           

              

Peninsula Daily News Column 6-14-12 "Tips on property tax exemptions, deferrals"

            Before we start anything else that we probably can’t finish, here’s a little something:

            Last week I mentioned some BIG changes with Kitsap Physician’s Service, which touches more than a couple of us around here. Here’s an e-mail I got from a reader who I happen to know to be a very sharp lady:

            “Hi Mark:  As usual I read your article this Thursday and almost fell off my chair when you stated KPS is ceasing to be!!!  My deceased husband was a federal employee in Bremerton and had KPS which transferred to me now.  I immediately called them and here is the scoop: Kitsap Physicians Service is alive and well.  They are only exiting individual and family plans due to rising health care costs, etc.  They are just too little a fish in a big pond, but their large employee plans, Federal plans, and Medicare supplement plans are CONTINUING.  Since so many of your readers are retired and quite a few "Bremerton or Kitsap Co. transplants", you might want to make this clear to them that if they are in Federal plans or Medicare supplement plans, their coverage is intact.”

            First, thank you! If it were me, I’d do exactly what this reader did and call Kitsap Physician’s Service to get the lowdown on MY situation.

Now, there are a few things in the Universe (besides Medicare and Medicaid) that just seem to defy common understanding, like the “Theory of Relativity” - Maybe E doesn’t = MC²? Well, whatever…

            Another is property taxes. Most of us, unless we work with it on a regular basis, just don’t really get how they’re calculated, and yours truly is certainly no exception, but here’s something I do understand: Making a daily choice between food or medicine, or turning on the heat vs. paying your doctor bill, or…That, I understand.

            However it is that property taxes are calculated, the fact is that they ARE calculated, and the counties in which we reside have virtually no senses of humor when it comes to our not being able to afford them…Or the medicine…Or the heat…So, here’s a bit about property tax exemptions and deferrals. These won’t apply to all of us because all of us don’t qualify, and rightfully so; but for those who do, these can be a lifesaver.

            If you’re a computer person and want to check my accuracy or get to all of the necessary forms or just can’t sleep, you can go to http://dor.wa.gov/Content/FindTaxesAndRates/PropertyTax/IncentivePrograms.aspx# and find more than you ever wanted to know; you’ll also find staff in the County Assessor’s office extremely helpful – I always have.

            So, let’s take a look and see if we’re even in the ballpark for any of these, and please remember this: These reflect state law, so they are STATEWIDE, so, Yes: If what you see here sounds like your cousin in Kent, holler at her! Ready?

            Property tax exemption for senior citizens and disabled persons (I don’t invent these titles): You’ve got to own real property and live in it more than half of the year, be 61 or better by December 31 of the tax year, or you have to be retired by reason of disability (and be able to prove it) or a veteran of the U.S. armed forces with 100% service-connected disability.

            AND your adjusted household income (Get it? “Household:” That means all of the income added together of everybody who actually lives there on a regular basis) can’t be more than $35,000. STOP: There are a number of expenses that can be subtracted from your income (including some medical expenses), so don’t be too quick to say, “Not me.” Best bet: Get your hands on the form(s) (web site above or call the Assessor’s Office and they’ll mail one to you) and actually read it. You might be pleasantly surprised.

            And what would you get? You’d get a reduction in the amount of property taxes due, based on your income, the value of the property, blah blah – Gone, never to return.

            Property tax deferral program for senior citizens and disabled persons: A lot of the same as above, like 61 or better or a person with a disability, own the place, live in it most of the time, etc, except that for this, the combined disposable (“adjusted”) income is $40,000 or less. What do you get?

            With the “exemption” above, part of your property tax went away – Permanently. This is a deferral, meaning that it doesn’t do away, it just has to be paid some other time, like when you sell the place or move on to better things or quit living there or…WAIT!

            This is where everybody always comes unglued: “The County will take the house!” No, they won’t, unless you or the heirs don’t pay the taxes due, and those “taxes due” are usually a LOT less than the price of buying a house, so the kids still came out ahead, get it?

            And, in the meantime, you got to stay home and live happily ever after! So, think it through before you throw it out.

            Property tax deferral program for homeowners with limited income (I know, sounds like most of us, right?): Forget the age and the “disability” part. You have to own and live in a place for at least five years, and have that “combined disposable income” of $57,000 (these are all “per year”) or less. Sound like anybody you know?

            What do you get? You get your 2^nd half property taxes deferred; true, those deferrals have to be paid if you die, sell the place, move out, whatever, but if you’re going through a rough patch and need a little help to get by…

            Property tax assistance program for widows or widowers of veterans: You have to be a widow or a widower, 62 or better or “disabled, of a vet who died as a result of a service-connected disability OR was rated 100% disabled by the VA 10 years prior to death OR was a former POW and rated 100% disabled for 1 year prior to death OR died in active duty or training status.

            AND your good old combined disposable income has to be $40,000 or less. Whew! What do you get? You get assistance for payment of property taxes in the form of a grant, based on income, property value, etc AND the grant does NOT have to be repaid as long as the applicant lives in the home until at least December 15 in the year the grant was received – THAT could seriously help.

            I know this stuff can put you into a coma, and Yes, you have to requalify annually and blah blah blah – It’s a lot like having a job! – But if you’re having to make the decisions like the ones I mentioned above, well…

            Now: A local gentleman with considerable research capabilities, breathtaking stubbornness and a considerable sense of humor has ascertained that contributions to a qualified IRA can also be deducted from your “adjusted income” – And even some VERY sharp County staff people didn’t know that! So, if this sounds like you to you, you may have to direct staff in the Assessor’s Office to the same WAC (Washington Administrative Code) to which he directed me: WAC-458-16A-115, section 2, paragraph “i.”

            Does your head hurt? Mine, too, but I know an 88-year-old gal who is eating, getting her medications and has the heat on comfortably low in her own little house, because of one of these headaches, so I’ll take the migraine, anytime.

Peninsula Daily News column 6-7-2012 "Don't dither on disability coverage"

            Here’s your news flash for the day: This is a pretty hard time for a lot of people, so the word “help” is taking on a more personal meaning for a lot more people than it used to – Very personal – And in my world, “help” is not a political thing, it’s about folks getting from one day to the next, and that just as easy as it used to be.

            One of the forms of “help” that comes up in my world is Social Security “disability” – Now, WAIT A MINUTE! I know that there are images and clichés about people on Disability building fences and playing racquetball, and I know that Social Security Disability has a legendary reputation for being almost impossible to actually get on! I also know that neither of those are true.

            Is there anyone on Disability who shouldn’t be? Probably; there are also people who lie about having earned military honors – So it goes – But not most.

            And Yes, Disability can be tough to access, but not as bad as you might think IF you think, and do it calmly, slowly, 1-step-at-a-time. If you need that help to get from one day to the next, and you think of it as your “job” AND you legitimately qualify, it is doable. Listen:

            If you’re not able to work because of a medical condition that’s expected to last at least one year or result in death, you might be in this ballpark (And Yes: Some people are on Social Security Disability for a while, get better, go back to work and get OFF of Disability). If this is sounding like you, apply for Disability benefits AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because this can take three to five months, on average. If the “disability” is anything other than blindness and your earnings are averaging $1,010 per month in 2012, you can go ahead and apply.

            Generally, you’re going to need:

1. Names, addresses and phone numbers of ever doctor, hospital, clinic, therapist whomever who has had anything to do with this condition, and the dates they saw you (or you saw them);
2. Names and dosages of medications;
3. Medical records that you may already have in your possession;
4. Lab and test results;
5. A summary of where all you worked and the kind of work you did.

Do NOT wait to apply for benefits because you don’t have all of this, because Social Security can and will help you get it. The quickest and easiest way to apply for Disability is to go online to www.socialsecurity.gov/applyfordisability - Get those wheels turning! Of course, you can also go into a Social Security office, or call 1-800-772-1213.

And if you just need to learn more about all of this, go to www.socialsecurity.gov/disability where you’ll find a cool little “Disability Starter Kit” (No, I’m not kidding) where you can learn a whole lot, real quick.

Good luck!

…and speaking of “good luck,” as many of us are keenly aware, Kitsap Physician’s Service is ceasing to be, and that is NOT good news, for a whole lot of reasons, not the least of which is attempting to navigate the predator-infested, obstacle course/minefield of finding alternative insurance. I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any easy answers, but I do have a couple of things you need to know.

Governor Gregoire signed Senate Bill 6412 (reference RCW 48.43.018 (1)(i)), that basically says that if you’re seeking an individual health plan because your current carrier is discontinuing coverage by July 1, 2012, you can avoid having to complete the dreaded “health questionnaire” if:

1. You apply within 90 days of your current plan shutting down;
2. You had at least 24 months of continuous coverage prior to the shutting down, and
3. …the benefits you had are equal-to-or-greater-than the ones you’re wanting to purchase.

Did you get that? NO HEALTH QUESTIONNAIRE!

Now, reference RCW 48.43.018 (4)(b) that basically says that a NEW carrier shall credit an applicant’s (you) period of coverage in a preceding catastrophic health plan.”…toward any preexisting condition waiting period…” (Italics mine) if:

1. The preceding plan shut down by July 1, 2012;
2. You were enrolled in the preceding plan for the 63-day period immediately preceding your application for the new policy, and…
3. …the benefits you had are equal-to-or-greater-than the ones you’re wanting to purchase.

Did you get that? You might be able to beat the “preexisting condition waiting period!”

And did you notice what is absolutely vital in both of these happy little maneuvers? DON’T DITHER ABOUT! If you’re not working on this already, start working on it NOW! And if you need help, call any of the numbers at the end of this column and they’ll help you, without making you feel like an idiot. You’re not.

No, I’m sorry to say, I don’t know why everything seems to be so complicated, anymore, but I sure know that feeling; nonetheless, here we are, and wringing our hands over it while we paralyze ourselves into doing nothing will accomplish exactly that: Nothing.

We didn’t get “here” because we were afraid. We got here because we did what had to be done to take care of ourselves and our families.

That hasn’t changed.