OK, now, what’re we doing?
Well, mercifully, I have no idea what you’re doing at the moment, nor do I feel a pressing need to know (propriety being what it is), but the rest of us are just embarking on an extended glimpse at what this “aging thing” might look like if you’re in your early-to-mid 60’s, or closing in on same; in other words, a primer for Boomers – “Things to think about,” as it were.
Here’s some really good advice: Go find some really good advice – And the best place to look will be in the minds and hearts of folks who have done, or are doing, “it;” preferably folks who, as near as you can tell, have done or are doing “it” reasonably well. And don’t forget to ask things like, “What would you do differently?” Or, “What do you wish you hadn’t done?” If they like you, and they think that you’re genuinely interested, they’ll probably tell you the truth.
And ask more than one.
Last week, we got out of the gate with “DON’T PANIC,” meaning simply that this “aging thing” is doable, and we danced around our own mortality, trying to get to some acceptance about the fact we probably won’t live forever, but that it isn’t over ‘til it’s over; in other words, who (and how) do we choose to be.
Assuming that, since you’ve had an entire week to resolve one of the great philosophical, spiritual and metaphysical conundrums of life, you’re ready to move on, let’s charge headlong into another very big word: RETIREMENT.
Here’s something that startles a lot of folks: You are not required to retire.
Well, you’re not! – Now, it’s possible that you’re particular line of work may have some “mandatory retirement” requirement, or it’s entirely possible that whatever it is you do requires a significant degree of physical strain that might make doing it into your 70’s or 80’s less than irresistible, but for most of us, not so much.
A more likely response for many of us working folks is, “I can’t WAIT to retire!” What that usually means is: I’m-sick-of-doing-this-particular-thing-and-the-BS-that-goes-along-with-it-and-I’d-just-like-to-have-every-day-be-a-Saturday! I get it.
And when we say that, we’re thinking about our “to do” lists or untamed gardens or uncaught fish or unread books or grandchildren that we haven’t see for two hours or or or…OK, I get that, too, so close your eyes for just a minute and think about it – Think about having every single day all to yourself (more or less) – What does that look like?
How many years will it take you to clean out the garage?
Or work through all those recipes or books or paint the fence or wash the windows or write those letters or learn to speak Laotian?
And are you going to do all that stuff mostly at home, alone? Or just with each other? How does that look to you?
It wasn’t that long ago that what happened (mostly to men, but not exclusively) was that you worked- worked-WORKED, then you retired, hung-out for a couple of years and died on a convenient, actuarial schedule; well, I hate to be the one to tell you this, BUT…You are NOT your grandfather – Or even your father (well, of course you are, but let’s not get distracted by genetics and questionable pastimes) - The fact is, you are likely to live noticeably longer than they did.
Got it? Now, close your eyes again and think about all that stuff again, and be realistic: How many zucchinis are your neighbors really going to be willing to take off your hands?
Do I sound negative? If I do, I apologize, because I’ve seen many folks spring into blissful retirement and enjoy every minute of it! They love every day and give of themselves and can’t imagine doing anything else or being any happier! And here’s something else I’ve seen: Retirement kills – Or it can.
It can if you haven’t given it a modicum of thought, because there will still be 24 hours in every day and seven days in every week – Are you someone who can enjoy that? Will you revel in that lack of structure? Will you have ways to “contribute?” Things to do that make you feel OK about you? If YES, HALLELUJAH!
If NO, be prepared to rust as your world gets smaller and smaller, and you fill up your days with things that just fill up days, and those “questionable pastimes” become “lifestyles.”
There is no “right” or “wrong” here – The point is to get this on your “Things to think about” list. Do you want to retire, or do you just need a vacation? Or do you need to quit working at what you’ve been working at and go work at something else? That’s allowed. Or, just work a little less? Happens all the time.
And, of course, there is something else to consider here, remembering that you aren’t your mother or your grandmother: This is the western hemisphere in the 21st century, and this is America: Money counts.
A little something different: The Olympic Area Agency on Aging runs and funds a number of services for Elders, folks with disabilities, caregivers, etc. Every four years, they are required to put together an “Area Plan” that details all of their programs and services, and what is planned for the next four years, and you could have a look at that by going to http://o3a.org/ (or you could call 379-5064 or 1-866-720-4863 and ask for a copy); then, if you have something to say about what you see, you could show up at the Clallam County courthouse at 1:30 on August 8th and say it.
It’s called a “public hearing” because the idea is to hear from the public.
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