Twenty five years ago, back when I started doing whatever it is I do at the tender age of 14, our job was to help “seniors” (not my favorite term, but we’ll leave that rant for another Thursday). I loved it then and I love it now.
Interestingly, though, a lot of “seniors” back then, and many who have achieved the age of majority and, presumably, maturity during these twenty five years, while I attempted to cope with puberty and acne, knew their way “around the block;” that is, folks kind of “got” Social Security, Medicare, retirement, aging, etc – They’d anticipated it, they’d seen it done, they understood it.
That’s not to say that everyone got it “right” (whatever “right” is) or never needed help (Did I mention Medicare?) or were just happy-as-clams until they moved on to better things, but the majority of the majority “got it” – They spoke the language.
So, twenty five years later, what’s changed? Well, Medicare is exponentially more complicated, it takes more money just to live, while the economy is tanking, families are spread out over multiple time zones and the largest demographic hiccup in the history of the planet (Yes, the Boomers) have been working their collective tails off trying to raise kids and help Mom and Dad (and/or Grandma and Grandpa and/or in-laws and/or…). So, what?
Well, the “So, what?” is that vast numbers of Boomers are finding themselves within striking range of “aging” – Oops. What that usually means is that it suddenly dawned on somebody that somebody was going to have to sign-up for Social Security (maybe) or Medicare (maybe) or think about retirement (maybe) – Oops!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M NOT 39?! (Well, actually, I am – Just do the math above) That’s an astounding realization for most busy, hard-working people, because most busy, hard-working Boomers are in their early-to-mid 60’s, or rapidly closing in on same – It’s shocking, it’s scary and it’s sufficiently overwhelming for many to lapse back into denial (“I’ll think about that some other time”), which can actually work pretty well when you’re busy and working hard; unfortunately, that “other time” often occurs late in the evening, in bed, with the lights out: Oh My…! – And then, it’s morning.
Oops.
I hear this a lot from a lot of folks who aren’t 39: “What do I do? How do I do it? What do I need to know? I don’t know what I don’t know! Oh My…!”
First, DON’T PANIC – It doesn’t help, it isn’t pretty and it scares pets.
Second, we’re going to go “there,” meaning we’ll start talking about this “aging stuff;” No, I have no intention of offering some scholarly treatise or comprehensive compendium of everything that everybody could possibly need to know about being older than 39 – I probably couldn’t if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.
No, let’s just talk about stuff that seems to come up a lot – Or should. And I’ll assume that you (whoever “you” are) are in your early-to-mid 60’s, or rapidly closing in on same, so you have some time to think and plan (Note: If that assumption is NOT true for you, and you need help with something RIGHT NOW, call any of the numbers at the end of this column and decent people will help you, for free – I promise).
OK? So, this is NOT a crisis, but if you keep lapsing back into denial and losing sleep while you pretend that calendars go backward, it will be – And soon enough.
OK? Have you had enough of “Oops?” Me, too, so kick-back, because this is going to take a while, but the “good news” is, we’ve got a while. Here we go:
DON’T PANIC. I’m serious – Look around you, and tell me what you see? Never mind, I’ll tell you: What you see is a LOT of “seniors” who are happy, healthy, alive, well, laughing, “part of the solution” and wondering how they ever found time to hold down a job! Or, maybe they are holding down a job! Whatever! What you need to notice is: They aren’t dead.
True, they (like you – Or me, if I wasn’t 39) have their troubles and/or medical issues and/or chronic conditions and/or difficulties, and they (like you, NOT me!) probably can’t do everything they used to be able to do, or as fast, or as…often, but they aren’t dead.
Don’t be too quick to shrug this off: The personal realization that we aren’t going to be 39 forever can be devastating for some, because it means that we will, eventually, die; sure we knew that, but not really – And that’s scary.
And then we start imagining (or, even worse, assuming) that our lives will spiral down and down into increasing disability, needing more and more help, able to do less and less, until we become whatever it is (or WHOever it is) that we saw that happen to, so our lives “end” long before they end.
Does that happen? Yes. Does it happen to everybody? NO! Can I keep it from happening to me? Maybe. Can you guarantee that, Harvey? No.
This is Earth – Nobody guaranteed you anything from the day you got here, and nobody is going to start now, but you’ve made this far – Somehow. Somehow, you’ve gotten through 5-6 (or more) decades, and I’ll bet more than your anticipated Social Security that it wasn’t always easy.
I’ll bet it took courage and stamina and will. I’ll bet you suffered and I’ll bet you got hurt. I’ll bet you won some and you lost some, and I’ll bet you laid dreams, hopes, pets and people to rest along the way – But here you are.
And I’ll bet that you’ve laughed and loved and reveled and played and savored and celebrated and GLORIED in the wonder of it all!
And all along the way, you’ve decided who this person is that you will be; well, nothing has changed. You will still be required to make that same decision, every single day, so start today: Who do you choose to be?
And how do you choose to be?
And what do you want the people around you to take from your “take” on life?
It’s OK to be a little scared – That’s natural – But if that’s all there is, then that’s all there is.
And remember, we’re just getting out of the gate, so for now: Don’t panic.
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