Do you realize how far we’ve come with this whole “Boomer Primer” thing? We’ve talked about mortality and retirement and money and wills and paperwork and and and…AND, do you realize how much we’ve aged since we started talking about this “aging thing?” Well, we started in late summer – OK, true, we’ve taken a few “side trips” here and there, but the fact is that we’re older than we were when we started all this.
Funny, how that goes.
So we’ve done (or thought about doing) all of this hyper-responsible stuff, and somewhere in the back of our minds (or the front of our minds) we’re beginning to think, “Geez…This ‘aging thing’ is a lot of work! And it’s not sounding like a lot of fun…Isn’t there a…”
…bright side? Of course there is! There are lots of “bright sides,” so let’s play with one of them; specifically, the one that has come to be known as the “bucket list.”
In case you don’t get the reference, it just means the-list-of-things-I-absolutely-want-to-do-before-I-kick-the-bucket. So, let your heretofore hyper-responsible mind wander a bit.
Many of us associate this idea with rather remarkable, dramatic or exotic adventures, like scuba-diving off the coast of Costa Rico or para-sailing over Pompeii or skateboarding through Tibet or…whatever. Others want to write the “Great American Novel” or paint the portrait that will wipe that smile off the “Mona Lisa” or invent windshield wipers for glasses or…You get it. And if you have anything like that on your “bucket list,” by ALL means, DO IT! And, by the way, you might want to start planning for that now, but let me ask you one, simple question, first, OK?
Really?
Is tubing down the Amazon so important to you that, if you found yourself on your deathbed tomorrow, you’d feel bad about not having done it? If the answer is YES, then (again), DO IT! But for many of us, we kind of feel like we’re supposed to have some Indiana-Jones-style adventure in mind…Do you want to hear the truth? Most of us don’t. If most of us were doing the “deathbed” scenario right now and we hadn’t piloted a 747 into Paris for lunch, most of us would shrug: “Yeah, well, it really isn’t that big a deal…”
No, for many of us, it isn’t. You know what tends to be a much bigger deal? Making our lives…right.
Like, sitting down with our life partner, holding both hands, and saying, “Do you know how much I always have, and do, love you?” Or making amends with the estranged daughter or letting the son who didn’t become the major league pitcher know how proud you really are of him. Or spending an hour in the sun at your mother’s grave or leaving a healthy annuity for that “special needs” grandchild.
Or finally confronting that addiction or adopting three stray dogs or reading the Bible cover-to-cover or watching the sun come up behind the Washington Monument or thanking all the people you should have thanked or apologizing to all the people who deserved apologies or telling the truth, when it’s kind and keeping your mouth shut, when it isn’t.
Learning patience, acceptance and tolerance – And proving it.
And on and on and on. There’s nothing wrong with the Great Adventure, and maybe the Great Adventure is a two-week vacation to Rome for the honeymoon you never had – Good!
It doesn’t matter what’s on your “list,” but (again) here’s the test: If you suddenly learned that you were going to be checking out of Earth in six months, what would you regret NOT doing (and No: Going back to age 16, knowing everything you know now, is NOT an option)? You have to be here, now – That’s the rule.
And here’s one more reassurance: You may not have a “bucket list;” oh, sure, you could make-up a bunch of weird stuff, but the truth is that you’re pretty content with your life and grateful for it, you did the best you could to “make your peace” along the way, you got your “ya-ya’s” out when the getting was good, so now you fill-up every day doing the best job of being “you” you can do. Good for you.
Now, deciding to retire or not, how much money you do-or-don’t have, physical health and whatever else may well effect all of this, but if you know the things that are REALLY important to you to get done pre-exit, you’ll find a way.
Don’t screw this up! – Because, after 25 years in this business I love, here’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard: “I wish I had…”
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