Peninsula Daily News Column 3-15-2012 "Death happens; details occur after"

            My mother died last October.

            To most of you, that isn’t “remarkable” – Oh, sure, some of you are saying to yourselves, “Oh, that’s too bad” or “I’m sorry” – Thank you for that.

            But for most of you – Most of us – It isn’t remarkable, because most of us are not unfamiliar with Death.

            …and Death, it seems, is not unfamiliar with us.

            Her death was not “unexpected,” but then, we could probably say that about anybody’s death, given the fact that most of us “expect” it will happen, eventually, so what that usually means is that it was “expected” sooner rather than later, which was the case.

            As an aside, the people who cared for her and helped me – Caregivers, aides, doctors, nurses, business people, etc ad infinitum - Were, without exception, wonderful. I say that by way of thanking folks who deserve to be thanked and to give you hope by reassuring you that we live in a very special place among very special people who, with rare exception, will “be there” when we need them to be.

            Thank you.

            But this isn’t about me and this isn’t really about my mother, who has moved on to better things – This is about death – Now, WAIT A MINUTE!

            I can well imagine that some of you, maybe a lot of you, just thought, “Oh, GREAT! That’s not exactly the subject I needed to cheer me up when the winter grayness is already beginning to get to me…!” No, it probably isn’t, so here’s my first thought worth sharing: Death happens when it happens…

            …not when it’s convenient or when the weather is good or when everything has gotten done or when we have the time…No, Death calls its own tune, and that’s what this is about.

            A short while back, I purposely did NOT conclude the “Boomer Primer” with “What to Do When a Death Occurs,” and I purposely didn’t do that because I wanted to conclude that whole “planning thing” with Life – Good for me.

            But the fact is, Death happens. It happens in its own way, in its own time and by its own rules, whether we like it or not – And we usually don’t.

            And since we put the “Primer” away, a number of you have asked about ideas, thoughts, lists, whatever on how to plan for this thing called Death, so we’ll go there. Interestingly, most of you who have asked for this kind of information are, by my reckoning, “Elders,” or at least not dancing on the daily threshold of puberty – No, you’re smarter than that.

            And braver than that.

            And more experienced than that.

            And have learned enough about love to understand it.

            Besides, courage is not the absence of fear, right? Right, so let’s do this – Adults only, please.

            By way of another aside, or a thinly veiled disclaimer, I am not a “Death Specialist” – What I am is someone who has spent a lot of years watching, listening and, I hope, learning. You’ll see soon enough that there are plenty of junctures where you’ll likely want to consult specialists – Attorneys, financial planners, funeral directors, insurance agents, etc – By all means, DO SO! My job here is to give you some things to consider – Your job is to translate them into the reality of your life in your way, and you may well want some serious “pro’s” to help you pull that off.

            I did.

            And here’s another…well, warning, I guess: An awful lot of what we’ll talk about relates to “business” – Money, paperwork, laws, regulations, procedures, bureaucracies, tra la – The “business of dying,” if you will. And the reason we’re going to do that is because that is reality – It’s how it really goes in this place, in this time, on this planet, so we’re not going to spend a lot of time (at least, right now) talking about dying or grieving or loss; besides, most of us already know way more than we ever wanted to know about that.

            No, this will be about business and planning, which means it will really be about love, so here’s the truth:

            My mother died last October, and I’m still cleaning up the details.

,

Peninsula Daily News Column 3-8-12 "Diabetes training covered by Medicare"

            Still got some of that Valentine’s Day chocolate lying around? Or cleverly stashed away where the others won’t find it? I thought so. PLEASE don’t tell me that you’ve still got Halloween leftovers leftover? Care to hazard a guess about how I knew that?

            Anyway, try answering a few questions (answer them silently, to yourself; otherwise, you’ll frighten the pets):

            Do you have diabetes?

            Do you think you might?

            Do you know and like anybody who does have diabetes?

            Are you on Medicare?

            Are you going to be on Medicare soon?

            Do you know and like anybody who has diabetes and is on Medicare?

            If you answered “No!” to all of the above, I can only say, “WOW!” and refer you back to the bio-bubble in which you, apparently, reside, because the rest of this is going to bore you out of your I-don’t-know-anybody-and-never-go-anywhere mind. The rest of us, who answered “Yes” to one or more of the above, might want to stick around.

            One could write a book about what Medicare does and doesn’t cover; in fact, a number of people have! In fact, the manuals that do exist on what Medicare covers (and how) generally need to be transported with farm equipment, which explains why I don’t usually get too deep into it – I don’t own a tractor. But given the demographics of our area and the fact that I know a lot of people who do have diabetes and are on Medicare (or soon will be), I want to give you a heads-up about something that you may not know.

            I’m not going to try to scare you into paying attention with all kinds of deadly and/or debilitating statistics – If you live in this world, you already know. And I’m not going to go on about how diabetes is a “chronic disease” that requires a lot of SELF-management and how chronic diseases account for 64-ish% of healthcare costs in the good ‘ole US of A and blah blah blah – You probably already know or very likely, don’t particularly care. What you do care about is your life and how much you do or don’t enjoy it and how much you can or can’t do and how long you might like it to go on. I get it – Me, too.

            And you likely already know that Medicare Part B (+ whatever Supplement plan you have, if you have one) covers things like blood glucose monitors and test strips and lancets and lancet devices and insulin and insulin pumps, depending. You may even know that Part B will cover custom-molded or depth-inlay shoes, and accompanying inserts and what-not, plus the services of a pro (and believe me, you want a “pro” for this, not just any old anybody who waves shoes at you) to fit them and make them work and monitor what’s happening, etc – Remember, your feet do a LOT more than just keep the ends of your legs from fraying!

            You may know a lot of stuff about what Medicare will cover for folks with diabetes, but did you know that it also covers diabetes self-management training? Yes! You can actually get training on how to get on top of this sucker so you can get on with your life! Your doctor (or somebody a lot like a doctor) has to prescribe it, of course, but a smart patient might ask about it if the doc doesn’t mention it – And, Yes: This training is available around here.

            Now, try this one, which it’s taken me this long to finally get to: Did you know that Medicare will also cover “medical nutrition therapy?” Yes! And what does that mean? Well, it means that you’ll be able to sit down with a registered dietician (or somebody a lot like one) and get an initial assessment plus 1-on-1 counseling (what to eat, what not to eat, how to follow an individualized meal plan, etc), help with managing “lifestyle factors” (you know what that means as well as I do), and follow-up visits and whatever else. Think “teacher” and think “coach.”

            You know what else tends to happen when you’re getting this teaching and coaching? You tend to find out about other services around to help you manage this diabetes thing – Services and resources and people that you likely wouldn’t know about unless somebody who cared took the time to tell you.

            That, friends and neighbors, is a “deal!”

            Well, OF COURSE you need a prescription! And if your doc doesn’t mention it, then you mention it! Why wouldn’t we take all the help we can get in order to handle this thing? Because we want to pretend that we don’t really have it and bad things won’t really happen, so we can go home and pull that candy-stash out of the nightstand drawer? Good luck with that.

            If you don’t particularly like healthcare or health insurance, then get a handle on handling this yourself, so you can use a lot less of both. And fine! DON’T take my word for it! Go to: https://www.cms.gov/MLNMattersArticles/downloads/SE0738.pdf and read it for yourself.

            Don’t know if you’ll remember all this and you don’t have a tractor, either? OK, then cut this out and take it with you to your physician or whoever you’re seeing about this diabetes thing – They’ll get it, because they’re on your side. The operative phrases are “nutrition therapy” and “self-management training.”

            Look: “Help” only helps if it helps – This will help.

           

Peninsula Daily News Column 3-1-12 "Study says a lot about 'golden years'"

            We’ve been pretty responsible for quite a while now, don’t you think? We’ve thought and studied and done stuff and registered for stuff and put stuff away in places where we will actually be able to find it again.

            We’ve made plans and talked them over with family, we’ve distributed copies of documents hither-and-yon, we’ve survived two Medicare “open enrollments” AND a rather significant winter storm.

            ENOUGH, already!

            Agreed. Try this:

            According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the 90-or-better crowd tripled in the last three decades, reaching 1.9 million in 2010! And that is expected to quadruple in the next four decades! In fact, 90-or-better will probably constitute 10% of our whole 65-or-better crowd by 2050! 10%!

            And what does the U.S. Census Bureau know about this gangbuster 90+ group? Well, they are overwhelmingly white (88.1%), considering the years in which they were born, they have an unexpectedly high rate of high school completion or beyond (61.3%) and women outnumber men by a ratio of almost 3 to 1.

            It gets even more interesting: 99.5% of people in the U.S. who are still alive at 90 are covered by health insurance (…hmm…); further, the median income for 90+ between 2006-2008 was $14, 760, 47.9% of which came from Social Security, but 14.5% of those folks lived in poverty.

            Half of men 90+ lived in a household with family members (or whomever) as opposed to only one-third of women, which must say something about…something. The report also says that the likelihood of living in a nursing home increases with age (no real surprise), so here are the odds: 1% of folks in their upper 60’s will reside in an institution, 3% in their upper 70’s, 20% for those in their lower 90’s, 30% for folks in their UPPER 90’s and 40% of folks 100 years of age or better live in a nursing home.

            Did you get that? If you’re 100 years old (or better!), the chances are 6 out of 10 that you will NOT live in a nursing home! WOW! We ought to find that a bit encouraging, because it says something about who we are and how tough we are, while it also says something about caregivers and caregiving – And it better say something about how we plan for the “golden years,” huh?

            One more: 80.8% of the 70-80% of the 90-or-better crowd that didn’t live in nursing homes had one or more “disabilities.” We don’t know what those “disabilities tend to be, but the report states that “…difficulty doing errands alone and performing general mobility-related activities of walking or climbing stairs were the most common…” things that folks needed help with.

            So, what I get from that is (a) ENCOURAGEMENT! and (b) some concern. The “concern” is that a lot of the “programs” I deal with all the time tend to prioritize very personal care (somebody’s hands on your body) and de-emphasize things like errands, housework, etc – Not completely, but more-or-less. And while there’s certainly basis for that, these numbers suggest what some of us in this business have been whining about for years: Help with housework, errands, etc – Chores! – Can help a lot of people stay right where they want to be, which is home.

            So, now, let’s take a detour regarding the very personal care, somebody’s-hands-on-your-body part (no pun intended):

            According to “the COPENHAGEN post” (What?? You don’t have any weird hobbies??), the use of robots in eldercare has “exploded” in recent years (I hope that’s metaphorical) and a new study seems to show that Danes are positive about these technologies; apparently, robotic vacuum cleaners and robot companions for folks with Alzheimer’s disease are “commonplace.”  

            Now, this “new study” says that a majority of respondents would prefer to receive technological assistance – Rather than human assistance – when (a) eating, or (b) going to the bathroom.

            I know, but that’s what it says.

            Of the Danes responding to said survey, 55% believe it is more dignified to be helped by a machine than by another human; in fact, a “bathing robot” is currently “on trial” (I presume that is metaphorical) at a nursing home whose name I can neither pronounce nor type, since this keyboard doesn’t seem to have the necessary letters. The bathing robot was produced in Japan.

            A group called “DaneAge,” which works for the interests and well-being of the nation’s “seniors”, warned that the study might be misleading because it came from an online poll so might have attracted more tech-savvy respondents.

            In conclusion, two things come to mind:

1. Have any of these respondents actually been assisted by the “going-to-the-bathroom robot?”
2. I think I know why the “bathing robot” was put on trial.

Peninsula Daily News Column 2-23-12 "Caregivers' stress leads to strength"

            Good Morning! Are we ready to move on to the next thing? How about moving on to the same old thing? – Like, caregiving…?

            I know, but just give me a minute. Let’s start by agreeing upon our same old (well, OK, my same old) definition of a caregiver, alright? A caregiver is somebody who is taking care of somebody who needs to be taken care of, whether they like it or not. There.

            And what do we know about this thing called “caregiving?” Especially those of us who have walked (or are walking) the walk? We know that it takes a toll. We also know that, for some, it can be a supreme act of love, of loyalty and of commitment. It can give us reason – Purpose – And, Yes: Fulfillment. It can be, in those ways, the best of times.

            We also know that it’s unbelievably stressful! – Exhausting, worrisome, never-ending, ever-changing, too much too fast, no time for “me” – STRESSFUL! And in the most extreme cases, the caregiver is the first to go. It doesn’t happen to all of us, but it isn’t unusual. The worst of times.

            Well, listen to this: Some researchers in Massachusetts have compiled some data that suggests that there could actually be some health benefits from caregiving! I know, but just give me a minute.

            Comparing two groups of women with an average age of early-to-mid 80’s – Caregivers vs. non-caregivers – The caregivers were, indeed, more stressed! They also had lower mortality rates. Yup. And even those who were classified as “high-intensity caregivers” (we don’t know exactly what that means, but most of us could make an educated guess) did better at their walking pace, grip strength and the speed with which they could rise from a chair!

            Cognitively (meaning, their minds), the caregiver crowd did significantly better on memory tests than the “non’s,” scoring more like folks 10 years younger! What are we to make of this?? A bit counterintuitive??

            Some of us are reading this and thinking, “No kidding.” Sure: For one thing, when there’s a choice in a family about who will become the “caregiver,” who’s it likely to be, the sick one? The weak one? Not usually.

            Get up faster from a chair? Walk quicker? I’ll bet! Because they have to…Whether they like it or not.

            Minds are sharper? Probably, because guess who’s managing the household, managing the meds, juggling the appointments, handling the money and the taxes and…Administering treatments, changing treatments, helping with exercises, cooking, cleaning and answering the phone? Right.

            And the laundry is endless.

            So, what comes to mind? The old saw about “…whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger…?” Well, YES! Except that, sometimes, it can kill you, but as a crowd, we are (apparently) tougher, stronger, faster and smarter, so let’s try to remember that the next time the cousin from out-of-state starts running that “Oh-I-just-feel-so-SORRY-for-you” routine. Yeah, right.

            So, should we all run out and become caregivers so we can be tougher, stronger, faster and smarter?...uh. maybe not, but maybe this ought to remind us that we had better take care of ourselves, if we’re going to keep functioning at this pace: Eat, occasionally. Sleep, occasionally. Talk to somebody besides yourself and the person you’re caring for, occasionally and when you need help, ask for it.

 And around here, one way to do that would be to call Carolyn at 417-8554 or Susie at 374-9496 or Heaven at 379-4421. It could make you stronger, and in this caregiving business, only the strong survive.

And while we’re on the subject of caregivers and caregiving, I recently spent some time with a room full of full-time caregivers, and the subject of durable powers of attorney came up; specifically, the realization on the part of some present that while they did, in fact, have a DPOA for the person they were caring for, there was no “back-up” – In other words, if the caregiver went down for the 3^rd time, who could step into the DPOA role? Nobody.

And where does that leave us, besides alone? Right: Somebody, somewhere looking at a guardianship.

Oops.

I know what you’re thinking: You’re thinking, “I don’t have time to go do another thing!”

You’re also thinking, “…but I don’t have time NOT to!”

And that’s what makes you tougher, stronger, faster and smarter.

           

           

Peninsula Daily News Column 2-16-12 "Last chapter of boomer primer on life"

            I changed my mind, but this is Earth, so I can do that.

            When I started this whole “Boomer Primer” thing, about the whole “aging thing,” I had a kinda-sorta “plan,” and the last chapter of the Boomer Primer was going to be about “What to Do When a Death Occurs” – Makes sense, right? “Last chapter,” and all that?

            But I changed my mind, because there will be plenty of Sundays in the future to brighten up with that happy prospect, and I don’t want to conclude this whole thing on aging with death. I want to conclude it with life.

            We hear so much about the downsides of aging and all its complications and pratfalls and pitfalls and complexities and losses and…help. And look who’s talking! I go on about “help” incessantly! But that’s not all there is to it; in fact, it (they, them…whatever) isn’t the biggest part and it CERTAINLY isn’t the best part!

            The “best part,” at least according to the hundreds of people who have taken the time to teach me, is growing up.

            And, with any luck at all, becoming a bit more child-like, in the process.

            Leaving behind petty worries, petty jealousies and ego problems. Cashing-in territoriality for inclusion. Understanding that competition can be fun, as long as it doesn’t matter who wins or loses.

            The people who have taught me have taught me that it doesn’t matter what you are – It matters who you are, and people can feel that: The age or the color or the accent or the clothing or the little ways we find to decorate ourselves don’t matter – What matters is sincerity and gentleness and honesty and caring.

            Civility matters. Courtesy matters. Understanding that I can like you (or, at least, accept you) without agreeing with you, matters.

            Humor matters, and the funniest things walking around are ourselves.

            Know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em. Know when to speak up and know when to shut up. And know that people who talk about being “wise,” usually aren’t.

            Accepting that you didn’t get it all “right” – That there were things you are ashamed of – But learning to live without shame, or shaming.

            Learning patience. I know that seems odd, especially if you think of “aging” as having less and less time all the time…I need to HURRY! You need to HURRY! I don’t have time!

            Patience isn’t sloth and patience isn’t “old” – Patience is the acceptance of our place in the Universe, and an abiding faith in it.

            And learning faith, whatever that means to you. Having seen it all and done it all, faith – An acknowledgement of patterns and cycles and change and inevitability. Trust. Experience. The ability to see what has always been in front of you. Faith.

            The ability to be amazed! Wonder-struck! Fascinated by the mundane! To ask “why,” and taking the time to listen to the answer – When there is one.

            The gift of being excited about a gift! Curious, anticipating the concealed surprise! Joy! Laughter!

            And the ability to take a nap when you’re sleepy.

            And eat when you’re hungry.

            To find special people when you’re lonely, and to be alone when you’re not.

            Learning to learn and learn and learn, but being selective about it because we quit caring about the “in” crowd a long time ago.

            And that power is a tool, not an end.

            Many of the Elders that I know and have known spend a considerable amount of time looking back. They do that as a way of celebrating, of honoring and of understanding where “here” is – When “now” is. A way of seeing that the road to “here” is still the road to “there,” because there is no “there,” so embracing the road.

            The path. We’re only here, I’ve heard it said, to leave the way we came. You either bend or you break.

            Freedom isn’t just another word – It’s unloading monkey after monkey from that tired, old back and being glad for the lighter load – Baggage is for airports.

            The ability to laugh and celebrate and lighten-up and not take everything SO seriously! And the ability to still be offended by offensive things, like cruelty and selfishness and greed and dishonesty.

            The ability to teach what’s important and what isn’t, while still remembering how you looked at that age.

            And maybe it’s the time when you can cease to be embarrassed by those scars and start being proud of them.

            So, I think the question at the end of an “aging thing” isn’t what do you do when a death occurs, it’s “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Peninsula Daily News Column 2-9-12 "Make life a journey with no regrets"

            Do you realize how far we’ve come with this whole “Boomer Primer” thing? We’ve talked about mortality and retirement and money and wills and paperwork and and and…AND, do you realize how much we’ve aged since we started talking about this “aging thing?” Well, we started in late summer – OK, true, we’ve taken a few “side trips” here and there, but the fact is that we’re older than we were when we started all this.

            Funny, how that goes.

            So we’ve done (or thought about doing) all of this hyper-responsible stuff, and somewhere in the back of our minds (or the front of our minds) we’re beginning to think, “Geez…This ‘aging thing’ is a lot of work! And it’s not sounding like a lot of fun…Isn’t there a…”

            …bright side? Of course there is! There are lots of “bright sides,” so let’s play with one of them; specifically, the one that has come to be known as the “bucket list.”

            In case you don’t get the reference, it just means the-list-of-things-I-absolutely-want-to-do-before-I-kick-the-bucket. So, let your heretofore hyper-responsible mind wander a bit.

            Many of us associate this idea with rather remarkable, dramatic or exotic adventures, like scuba-diving off the coast of Costa Rico or para-sailing over Pompeii or skateboarding through Tibet or…whatever. Others want to write the “Great American Novel” or paint the portrait that will wipe that smile off the “Mona Lisa” or invent windshield wipers for glasses or…You get it. And if you have anything like that on your “bucket list,” by ALL means, DO IT! And, by the way, you might want to start planning for that now, but let me ask you one, simple question, first, OK?

            Really?

            Is tubing down the Amazon so important to you that, if you found yourself on your deathbed tomorrow, you’d feel bad about not having done it? If the answer is YES, then (again), DO IT! But for many of us, we kind of feel like we’re supposed to have some Indiana-Jones-style adventure in mind…Do you want to hear the truth? Most of us don’t. If most of us were doing the “deathbed” scenario right now and we hadn’t piloted a 747 into Paris for lunch, most of us would shrug: “Yeah, well, it really isn’t that big a deal…”

            No, for many of us, it isn’t. You know what tends to be a much bigger deal? Making our lives…right.

            Like, sitting down with our life partner, holding both hands, and saying, “Do you know how much I always have, and do, love you?” Or making amends with the estranged daughter or letting the son who didn’t become the major league pitcher know how proud you really are of him. Or spending an hour in the sun at your mother’s grave or leaving a healthy annuity for that “special needs” grandchild.

            Or finally confronting that addiction or adopting three stray dogs or reading the Bible cover-to-cover or watching the sun come up behind the Washington Monument or thanking all the people you should have thanked or apologizing to all the people who deserved apologies or telling the truth, when it’s kind and keeping your mouth shut, when it isn’t.

            Learning patience, acceptance and tolerance – And proving it.

            And on and on and on. There’s nothing wrong with the Great Adventure, and maybe the Great Adventure is a two-week vacation to Rome for the honeymoon you never had – Good!

            It doesn’t matter what’s on your “list,” but (again) here’s the test: If you suddenly learned that you were going to be checking out of Earth in six months, what would you regret NOT doing (and No: Going back to age 16, knowing everything you know now, is NOT an option)? You have to be here, now – That’s the rule.

            And here’s one more reassurance: You may not have a “bucket list;” oh, sure, you could make-up a bunch of weird stuff, but the truth is that you’re pretty content with your life and grateful for it, you did the best you could to “make your peace” along the way, you got your “ya-ya’s” out when the getting was good, so now you fill-up every day doing the best job of being “you” you can do. Good for you.

            Now, deciding to retire or not, how much money you do-or-don’t have, physical health and whatever else may well effect all of this, but if you know the things that are REALLY important to you to get done pre-exit, you’ll find a way.

            Don’t screw this up! – Because, after 25 years in this business I love, here’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard: “I wish I had…”

Peninsula Daily News Column 2-2-12 "Depression not a time to go it alone"

            Yeah, I’m back: “Boomer Primer,” “Things to Think About” or anticipate or not be surprised by or whatever – I think we’ve all figured this out by now, so let’s proceed.

            Here’s a shocker: Today I want to talk about something that almost nobody ever wants to talk about, as opposed to all the other things that we’ve been talking about that almost everybody can hardly wait to talk about. Today I want to talk about “depression,” and No: This will NOT be an exercise in global financial mismanagement.

            “Depression,” as in “I’m depressed.” And why do I want to put a sparkle into your Sunday by talking about depression? Because it happens, and it happens a lot to a lot of us as we get older, whether we like it or not, which begs the definition of “depression.”

            Why? Could be any number of things; for instance, for those of us who have managed to survive to an age where “aging” is even a concept, the fact is that we’ve experienced loss – And probably a fair amount of it: Loved ones, pets, jobs, opportunities, physical acumen, that reassuring belief that there’s “always tomorrow” to mend our ways or our fences or our bridges.

            Or hope.

            Believe it: If we’re still here, we’ve lost stuff; then, maybe, some magic age comes along (60, 65, 75, 96 – Whatever) and we suddenly realize that there may not always be a tomorrow – That we won’t really live forever and that we don’t really have forever.

            I know that sounds ridiculous, in a way, because we all “know” that, in our heads, but we don’t always know it in our…hearts, or wherever we keep such things. We can’t imagine life without us – Me – It’s all we know, so we’ve just kept putting one foot in front of the other, believing in tomorrow, so some magic age number comes out of nowhere and BOOM! – I’m going to die someday!

            Yeah, you are. So am I.

            And we’re afraid of what might happen between here and there.

            Yeah, you are. So am I.

            Or maybe our lives have changed, an easy example being “retirement.” Oh sure, we revel in it, at least for a while, but sometimes for some of us, we can start missing that reassuring routine, that sense of purpose – Of contributing.

            Or, it could be our bodies and metabolisms change – That happens, you know – Or it could be any combination of the above, including ALL of the above, or about a million other things, but the fact is that depression happens.

            Will it happen to all of us? No. Will it happen to enough of us to make it worth talking about? Yes.

            I’m not talking about a “bad day” or a “bad mood” or the blues or the blahs or just feeling kind of down. I’m talking about a feeling – Not a good feeling! – That doesn’t go away; OK, it may come and go, and I’m not necessarily talking about a feeling that is so debilitating that you just sit and stare into nothingness, although that happens, too! I’m talking about a sad, kind of purposeless, hopeless spiritless feeling that keeps coming back. You know.

            So, what do you do? You do…Something! Tell your doctor what you’re feeling – He or she can help you understand what is or isn’t happening, and…Who knows? It might be some other physical/medical thing that needs to be addressed. Or go to a counselor or a therapist or a clinic or…Do SOMETHING! Because the fact is that depression is very treatable and, for many of us, only needs to be “treated” while we get through a difficult time or over a hump or make the adjustment or whatever.

            I don’t know, and we sure-as-heck don’t want me diagnosing anybody, but here’s what I can promise you: Doing nothing will, in all likelihood, yield nothing.

            You/we/I do NOT have to feel like that! We can get our lives, and our spirits back, but we have to ask for help; now, I presume that most of us Boomers (and whomever else has come along for the ride) are not, as a group, unfamiliar with, or scared-to-death by anything that might smack of “mental health” – I mean, it’s not like we don’t know more than a little about “dysfunction” and feelings and all that, right?

            And we’ve figured out that depression (like a lot of other things) is NOT a sign of “weakness,” right? I mean, if you broke your leg, would you just decide to tough it out so you wouldn’t seem “weak?” No, you wouldn’t. Depression is no different.

            And if feeling crappy on an ongoing basis isn’t enough to get us off our butts, consider what a joy it must be to be around someone who is depressed – Oh, GOODY! Sure, people who love you will support you and tolerate you and put up with you and maybe even help you pretend that everything is fine, but if you purport to love them back, you might want to consider the effect that you’re having on them.

            Maybe it’ll just…go away; well, OK, maybe it will, but if it doesn’t, then what?

            My only point here is the same point: Depression happens to a lot of us, so be aware of that and if it happens to you, do something about it, because it can get better.

            If it’s already happening to you, do something about it, because it can get better.

            Take back your life, because we have a lot left to do.